She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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