Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize