Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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