You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
His nipple licking is glorious
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