just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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