we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize