bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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