That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize