well I can't set my house on fire every night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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