before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize