i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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