Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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