The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize