I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize