In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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