I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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