plz talk dirty to me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize