I hate your face
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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