Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize