C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize