The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize