So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize