People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I want to fling myself into the sun
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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