I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I want is dick and wine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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