don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize