Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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