You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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