I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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