Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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