Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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