I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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