i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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