I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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