no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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