we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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