I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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