He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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