he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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