I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize