you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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