If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize