I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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