I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize