i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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