I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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