I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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