They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize