Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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