She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize