If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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